FROG IN THE TOILET
What is it with dogs that they always chase the things that
freak us out the most?
Living in Florida
there are a wide variety of creepy crawly kind of creatures. Two things that I just can’t stand to be near
are snakes and frogs, both very abundant in this state. It never ceases to amaze me the folks that say “snakes are
good for the environment” this may be so and I do appreciate whatever benefits
they may have to offer but that doesn’t mean I have to make nice with
them. There are several poisonous snakes
possible to encounter and for those that say they are more afraid of you then
you are of them –obviously haven’t seen my reaction to being in the same
vicinity with one. And yes, I have seen
the posters about how to tell which is poisonous and which are not – let
me make this perfectly clear – I have no intention of getting that
close to be able to tell.
The next creepy critter – the Florida FROG! OK, I am not quite as terrified of frogs as I
am of snakes, but they just make me shutter, and some of them look so darn slimy
- ewwwww. So, now that you have a minor introduction let
me tell you my story.
My dog Buckeye seems to think that frogs are put here for his
amusement and somehow mistakes them for toys.
Every time I let him outside at night to go potty he seems to be able to
spot a frog from a mile away. This frightens me, because some of them
excrete a poison that can make him very sick or even kill a dog – this just
adds to my disdain for them. So while he
is bouncing up and down (with the frog) trying to grab them with his paws, I am
usually screaming on the side lines for him to stop…..nope just like everyone
else – he ignores me. And then
that fateful day happened…..
Like usual, Buck is trying to catch a frog – this time a
giant bullfrog – and I am trying my best to grab Buckeye before he can actually
succeed in his capture. What I failed to
do was close the back door to my house when I went running for Buckeye. In trying to escape from the dog the frog
hopped right into my house. I
freaked! I went running for a broom or
something but I couldn’t find it. Buck
happily followed me thinking I was finally joining in his games but we couldn’t
find the frog. I looked everywhere I
could think. I moved furniture around. I
went room to room, but nothing. Buck followed my every foot step enjoying this new part to his game. My other two dogs just sat in the living room
and stared at the spectacle I made of myself.
They must have found it amusing and were wondering who was jumping
higher me or Buckeye? They made no
indication that they had seen the frog, after I started to calm down, I came to
the conclusion that the frog must have just hopped out of the house as quickly
as it hopped in. I breathed a sigh of
relief and continued with my day. I kept
glancing around to see if I could find the frog – just in case.
Several hours pass, it’s almost time for bed and much to my
relief there is still no sign of the frog.
I take my shower, get changed and go to bed. I finally fall asleep and not soon after of
course in the middle of the night I need to go to the bathroom. Half asleep I make it to the bathroom, sit down, feel the
relief of making the toilet and not having an accident on the way, hoping not
to nod off on the bowl and then it happened.
All of a sudden while I am peeing something slams hard right into my
butt. My immediate response was to jump straight up off the toilet, still in
mid stream the pee is now spraying all over the bathroom floor and walls–I am completely
freaking out looking desperately to see what the hell hit me. I stare into the toilet bowl only to see that
giant frog sitting in the bowl looking up at me and he looked mad.
I peed right on his head and when he tried to escape he
crashed into my ass. As I start to
scream – here comes buckeye to my rescue – jack ass dog is the reason this darn
thing is in here in the first place. I am not happy to see him either right now
– but does he understand –noooooo he thinks I am playing – so as I jump up and
down he mimics me jumping up and down. Bad enough to have
a frog in my house, and then to have peed on it – the freaking thing jumps out
of the toilet covered in pee and is hopping all over my bathroom. I grab for
the broom and sweep his slimy ass out the back door – OK it was more like golf
clubbing him with a broom but each hop he just made more length of my house to
the door.
Finally I open the door and get the ugly thing out of my
house and as soon as I open the door my dumb dog chases it and tries to grab it
and bring it back in the house. At least
he is starting to know when I am upset because my screeching NO!! got him to stop and come
back in the house. Of course not knowing
why I didn’t want to play with his new toy that I was so good enough to find
for him, he went onto his bed and sulked.
Good thing I love that dog because he drives me crazy.
